To Divorce or Not to Divorce – That is the Question

When considering divorce, most husbands and wives go through a period of indecision or ambivalence. Emotionally, they may be inclined to divorce, however, for religious, financial or economic reasons or because of concern for children, they feel bound to stay together. By confronting their situation, gathering information, viewing all options and considering the new problems that not only accompany, but also arise subsequent to divorce, a couple can decide whether to leave or stay in a marriage.

Divorce drastically changes lifestyles, for everyone in the family. Certain solutions to marital conflict and problems may make divorce unnecessary. However, some couples will never reconcile their differences, and a divorce may be the best choice for everyone involved. Each marriage is unique and what works for one couple may not for another, so a husband and wife need to arrive at their own decisions regarding their marriage or their desire to divorce based on careful consideration.

Helpful Approaches

Reasons to Stay Married/Divorce

In sorting out your perspective, there are various approaches that may help you decide what is best for you and your children. Listing reasons to stay married and reasons to divorce can enable you to weigh the pros and cons. It is helpful to list your reasons by category, such as:

• Financial reasons
• Impact on children
• Impact on family and friends
• Support provided by your husband or wife
• Day-to-day needs
• Tax consequences
• Long-term lifestyle preferences

Weigh and compare your list of reasons to stay married with your list of reasons to divorce. You will obtain a clearer idea of what is the right choice.

Evaluation of Personal Goals

Another helpful approach for resolving whether to stay married or divorce is to consider the goals you have set for yourself. What type of marital relationship have you wanted to have? For example, some husbands or wives prefer a loving, passionate relationship and others value an open, close companionship more highly. By defining what you are looking for in a marriage, you may achieve clarity concerning your marital relationship and conflicts you are encountering. You can write down the goals you have set in terms of:

• A marital relationship
• Your children
• Your job/career
• Recreational goals (travel, sports, hobbies)
• Spiritual development

Once you have listed all your goals, you can evaluate each goal and whether your marriage helps or inhibits you in accomplishing the goal.

Obviously, when assessing factors to arrive at a decision, you will find that you place greater significance on some factors than others. Your decision about whether to divorce or not will reflect what is most important to you.

Outside Professional Help

Discussing personal goals and reasons to divorce or stay married may also be something you can address with your spouse under the guidance of a marriage counselor. Sometimes couples find that deep-rooted misunderstandings in their relationship are easily resolved by constructively communicating about their issues, especially when both spouses are striving to make the marriage work.

Also, keep in mind that any good marriage involves some degree of compromise. However, too much compromise may indicate that the relationship is not a good match.

A common misconception is that you only need legal counsel after you have made a firm decision to divorce. However, consulting a lawyer also sheds light on legal matters that can help you decide whether to end or stay in a marriage. It is important to consider how you and your spouse will plan for and settle child custody, child support, property division or how the courts might rule on those issues, if you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement. A family law attorney can explain the impact divorce has on other legal issues such as trusts, wills, estate planning or family business partnerships. A lawyer may suggest a marital agreement, for example, which frequently resolves financial conflict by offering solutions both partners can agree on. Marital agreements also have the advantage of putting decisions in place regarding assets and debts which would also lessen conflict should the couple ever decide to divorce. Short of divorce, there may be other legal remedies that can solve the problems a couple is experiencing.

With access to a wealth of resources, many law firms are readily able to refer clients to financial consultants or marital counselors whose experience and training has guided married couples in either resolving their disagreements or helping them prepare for divorce.

Advantages of Legally Planning for Divorce in Advance

Obtaining a lawyer early in the process of planning for divorce can help you understand your rights as well as your options and put yourself in a better position to make informed decisions. From both a financial and legal standpoint, a lawyer can advise you on how to structure credit cards, real estate property and bank accounts along with your ability to establish separate credit. You can review all issues your divorce would affect and determine a timeframe for your divorce that would best serve your interests.

The Wright Firm provides skilled representation to family law clients throughout the Lewisville, Texas, region, including the cities of Dallas, Plano, Frisco, Arlington, Richardson, Flower Mound, Carrollton, Corinth, Allen, McKinney, Garland, and Dallas County, Denton County, Collin County, Rockwall County, and Tarrant County.